That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party

I know, I’m long overdue for a post about Camp Mighty.  Would you believe that two months later I’m still trying to process everything?  My life has been nonstop go go go since I came back from Camp and I don’t see any end in sight.  It’s a good thing!

That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party

In my last Camp Mighty post, about meeting The Bloggess, I allude to being in an anxiety-ridden spiral on Friday night.  That is because I ruined the Space Party.

For only myself, but isn’t that enough?

I was super excited for the Space Party because I love dancing and booze, and it’s so much easier for me to interact with people when I’m drunk and there’s loud music to distract people from the dumb things that come out of my mouth.  Also, I bought a pink wig for it.

That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party

The party started off well enough.  I ate, I drank, I approached people, I started conversations.  I took pictures in the photo booth.

That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party
{before the “incident.”}

So everyone’s having a nice time, dancing and such, and, there were these large balloons, see?  From Geronimo Balloons, one of Camp Mighty’s sponsors.

That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party
{Jihan, the founder of Geronimo Ballons, and her balloons}
People starting dragging the balloons onto the dance floor.  It looked fun, so I grabbed one.  But there are also these industrial lights hanging from the ceiling (see above picture).  Well, as soon as I grabbed a balloon and pulled it towards me ….
pop
POP
It was the loudest balloon pop ever produced. 
You know how in the dumb teen movies, when the awkward but really sweet and smart heroine does something really embarrassing at the prom in front of her football-playing crush, and the DJ scratches the record and everything falls silent and everyone in the room looks at her?  Yeah, that.  
Okay, maybe not.  But at least half a dozen people looked over at me.  I felt my face get flush and I just wanted to run.  But I didn’t.  Not yet.  I finished dancing to the song that was playing.  Then I ran.  I ran back to the hotel room and hid in the bathroom and cried.  Of course this would happen.  What am I doing? I don’t belong here.  I want to go home.  I miss my dead cat.  How much wine do I have left?
I’m not proud of it, but I downed another glass of wine, cleaned up my make-up, gave myself a little pep talk, refilled my glass, and headed back to the party.  Another camper was dancing with the remnants of my busted balloon strand around her shoulders like a boa.  I started to walk up to her when she exclaimed “I didn’t pop it, I just found it!”
“I know. I popped it,” I told her. “I’m the worst.”
She laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal.  She said she was just talking to one of the founders of Camp Mighty and she was cool with it.  “It’s not like we paid for them or anything,” she allegedly said.  Okay, maybe this isn’t the worst thing ever.  Maybe.
I tried to get back on the dance floor.  But I felt like everyone was staring at me, whispering about me.  They weren’t, of course, but anxiety lies to you.  So I left early, went back to the hotel room, took off all the makeup and the wig, changed into my swim suit, and hit up the hot tub.  I was hopeful that anyone who was already in the hot tub had not been witness to “the incident.”  Or maybe it was dark enough out there that no one would recognize me.
I lasted 10 minutes before insecurity took me back to the hotel room.
This is an embarrassing story and to be honest I’m not sure why I’m writing about it.  Maybe I over-share in case there are others like me out there.  Where are my insecure, anxiety prone peeps at?!?  But seriously, it’s so difficult for me to put myself “out there” and I retreat at the first sign of trouble.  I know the solution isn’t to hide in my apartment and only communicate with the outside world through blogging and social media, but I really want to, sometimes.  Like, all the time.  Anyone else feel this way?
I’m proud of myself for getting out there and taking chances, especially in the last couple of years.  I’m battling my demons but I realize I have a ways to go and there will always be set-backs and struggles.  Thanks for going along this journey with me.
My next Camp Mighty post will be all about what I actually LEARNED during the many amazing sessions, I promise.
For now I’ll try to keep smiling.

That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party

3 thoughts on “That Time I Ruined the Camp Mighty Space Party”

  1. I think you made it sound way worse than it really was. Balloons pop….it’s what they do. 🙂 Next time you have an embarrassing teen moment, just break out into song and dance and since everyone knows the choreography and words (because that’s how it is in movies just as in real life), all will be forgiven and forgotten! 😀

    For what it’s worth, I think you looked really cute in the pink wig. 🙂

    Reply
    • I read it again, this time putting myself in your shoes, and I can see why you’d be so mortified. I know your anxiety magnified the entire situation, but I’m proud that you actually went back in. I think I would’ve just stayed in my room and called my husband and turned in early. Actually, I’m not even sure I would’ve gone to the party by myself to begin with! So give yourself a little more credit and don’t be so hard on yourself. I wish you could accept your awesomeness. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Aww I am so sorry! I think I would have freaked out too!!!! At least you tried to go back and make light of the situation and for that it says a lot about you and that you are stronger than you think! But I can understand anxiety getting the best out of you! Just know that you have people that love you and think you’re AWESOME no matter how many balloons you pop. Thank you for sharing!!!

    Reply

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