Are you ready for an onslaught of MFW:U recaps this week? I have a lot of catching up to do from my little hiatus, so let’s get right to it!
This is Vanessa and Adam.
Vanessa wants a Kim Kardashian wedding, and David is none too pleased.
Tell us how you really feel, Tuts.
Vanessa says her theme started with their simple black and white invites.
And then there’s the pinatas.
David admits Vanessa has a beautiful dress.
But the bridesmaids are a different story.
Vanessa wants them to be covered up, because some of the girls ….
… have their own girls.
After the video, David takes a poll of who watches the Kardashians. Head Tuteraette Alyssa is the only one to admit it.
Poor David is stunned, then saddened, then angry. He banishes Alyssa to the back of the private jet. Rich people jokes! lol
When in CA, David thinks he’s going to meet his bride and groom on a boat, but instead encounters her three sisters, who explain to David that the bride is all over the place and THEY know what’s best for her.
Then the bride and groom arrive and I should know better, but they played off the “surprise” pretty well.
Vanessa again explains she wants the Kim Kardashian wedding.
And this is when David says that the Kardashians are like herpes, they just won’t go away. Which is a little TMI, Tuts.
But! Vanessa explains she doesn’t like Kim, she just likes the way their wedding looked, so David announces they can be friends again.
When they get some time alone, David explains that having their wedding on a tiny boat is a bad idea. Like, duh. But not to worry, he’s gonna make it all better.
Next on dry land, David has a surprise for Vanessa.
It’s, like, a TON of bling!!!
Now we’re trying on some bridesmaids gowns.
Everyone likes this one but the bride thinks there’s too much boobage.
The bride thinks dress #2 (on the left) is too grandma-ish, but likes #3 if it could come in black.
But it’s the shoes that everyone swoons over.
Then David tells everyone there’s a photoshoot on Monday and everyone better be there. Two of the bride’s sisters are like, sorry yo, I gotta work. I can’t drop everything for your last minute wedding TV stuff.
This sends the bride into a passive-aggressive tailspin (take shot #1!)
Which then puts a sister into hysterics (Shot #2 … I guess).
I’m sure this was all fabricated, but on the other hand, get four sisters together and light a fuse, and you’re bound to get tears, right?
So what was so important on Monday? Why, it’s a family photo shoot. With half the family missing.
Oh my! And then things get a little wacky!
Here’s what David looks like in a towel:
It’s wedding day! Every girl dreams of having her wedding inside a tent next to a large parking lot.
Dramatic Sister continues her dramatics by hiding her face from the cameras due to a blemish.
David has to protect his bride from all the drama his show has created.
David tells us about how they have a big job ahead, of transforming the tent from ceremony to reception in only 45 minutes.
In what may be one of the funniest MFW:U moments this season, David interrupts Alyssa’s talking head to remind her how fast they need to be working.
I can’t tell if this is a “staged” interruption but props to them for making me laugh in a season full of eyerolls and near vomiting.
Right before the ceremony, the bride is presented with her diamond jewelry.
And this guy.
Yep, when you rent a million dollars worth of jewelry, you buy yourself a new friend, too.
Because there’s nothing more romantic than a bodyguard following you around on your wedding day.
The wedding party goes on ahead so David and the bodyguard escort the bride through the parking lot to the venue.
This theme is so not my thing, but I admit it’s done well. And apparently that’s the same cross that The K Word had at her wedding.
Or is it????
During the room turnover we get a glimpse of the AMAZING cake!
It’s even taller than the K wedding cake, says David.
Everyone loves the reception space.
After dinner, David surprises the bride with a sexy silver reception gown.
And a performance by Frenchie Davis.
I somehow missed capturing the actual singing (sorry).
THE END.
So what did everyone think of this episode? I thought it was sooooooooo boring. Much like a Kardashian. Even the fake drama in this episode was boring. But once again, the couple seemed happy and that’s what matters. If you watched this one, chime in the comments!
I know you all have been so deprived from your Faces of David, so I won’t keep you any longer!
