Hello! I hope that everyone is having a fantastic week so far. I have been running around like a maniac because Mr. BFT’s parents arrive TOMORROW for a five day visit, and I have been going out of my mind preparing our apartment for their stay. I’m also not sure if I can get next week’s recap done, since that is Bridal Shower day! But I’ll try my best for you, because you, my dear readers, are my favorite people. And recapping this show is one of my favorite things.
On with the show!
This is Diamond and Laté (like the coffee drink). Yes. I was getting so bored with the Taylors and the Laurens.
Diamond wants an Under the Sea themed wedding, because she likes the beach and Laté likes to SCUBA dive. This was all said with a straight face. They declare they are “drowning” *snort* and need David’s help.
David learns the wedding is in 9 days and is like, OMG, I’m outta here.
But then he was all, J/K, I’ll stay.
Diamond shows David all her treasures and explains she wants an Under the Sea wedding, because she wants to be “like Ariel” (who got married on land, but we won’t go there).
And of course there were goldfish.
David finds that outrageous.
Then the bride explains that she wants a Kim Kardashian wedding on a Gary Coleman budget, which causes David to have a moment.
It’s time to see the bridesmaids dresses.
The bride explains she and her bridal party are doing a dance at the reception called The Wobble, and these dresses are great The Wobble dresses.
Shocker, but David doesn’t like the dresses. The bridesmaids don’t like them, either. They feel like they are going to homecoming. But the bride loves her bridesmaids dresses.
Next we see the bride’s gown.
David does his best impression of Diamond in her dress.
The dress is “all wrong” for Diamond. It doesn’t fit on top and the color is too bright. The bride said she likes, not loves, her dress. Then we find out she got the dress on Craigslist for $30, and David does not like this AT ALL. In an UNPRECEDENTED move by Tuts, he tells Diamond she will NOT be wearing this dress. Diamond is happy about that.
We also learn that Diamond ruined Laté’s proposal. She caught him going into the jewelry store and pestered him over and over until he showed her the ring. David asked if perhaps she jumped the gun a bit with that move. DER DOY.
Next we go to the venue. Diamond’s idea was to set up chairs and tents on a public beach.
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| Concerned. |
David basically tells Diamond she can’t have her wedding on a public beach unless she wants eeeeeeeverybody around to attend. Diamond doesn’t want that, so I think David needs to find a new venue.
After the break we see David guiding Diamond somewhere ….
It’s her bridesmaids!
Including several members of the Ginormous Earrings Club.
So I suppose it’s no surprise we are getting new bridesmaids dresses.
Dress #1
David went “in a completely different direction” and picked the color coral, you know, after the stuff in the ocean. The bride says this dress looks like “Edward Scissorhands got a hold of it.” I don’t think that’s a good thing.
Dress #2
This one is okay. Diamond says it looks like Pepto Bismol. This bridesmaid is a little skeptical and tells David, “I trust you” with a little eye roll. DAYUM.
David doesn’t take too kindly to her comments! I thought there might be a throw down.
But we assume she was just joking and move past it.
Dress #3
This is a favorite all around.
Diamond wants to see all the dresses and make sure they are all The Wobble compatible.
Dress #1
This one makes the bride tear up a bit.
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| Shot #1 |
And she can dance in it!
Dress #3
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| David’s signature hands-grab. |
Oh, surprise, Laté is here.
Surprise, he has a ring.
SURPRISE, it’s from the David Tutera jewelry line from Sears. (My “surprises” are sarcastic, if you haven’t figured this out.)
OH SURPRISE, Diamond takes the ring and proposes to Laté, JUST LIKE DAVID SUGGESTED TWO SECONDS AGO.
(He said yes.)
This was probably the LAMEST “surprise” I have ever seen in 5 seasons of MFW. Ooof, they really dropped the ball on this one.
Okay, it’s wedding day, and David informs our bride he has moved her entire wedding to Solar Studios. Which is in Glendale. If you don’t live in Southern California, then you don’t know that the nearest beach is about 20 miles away. So at this point it’s safe to assume this bride’s Under the Sea wedding is going to take place nowhere near an ocean.
We see the bride’s massive bridal party in some makeshift holding area.
The bride is excited to see David chose ….
Dress #3!
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| Seaweed? Fishing net? |
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| This is a light up dance floor, which is bad ass. |
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| This looks A LOT like that first bridesmaid dress. Man, this show is getting lazy. |
We are ready to see the ladies all dolled up, on the set of a Kanye West SNL performance.
It’s dress #1! The one the bride didn’t like, remember? So this wedding is off to a weird start.
They look good, though. David knows what’s up.
There’s a dude in there, too!
Diamond comes out in Dress #3.
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| She tried to keep it in but I caught it. Shot #2. |
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| Pretty bouquet with succulents, which are related to the ocean, somehow? |
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| What do we drink when a bridesmaid cries??? This is unprecedented. Ideas in the comments, please. |
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| Also, the lady on the left, lol. |
They are so awestruck by the room, David has to remind them to look at each other. Priorities!
Diamond says, “And I thought I looked gorgeous! Laté looks like a black James Bond.” Which I think is a compliment.
Cake is a little boring. MFW should have taken a clue from DFTW, the king of the sandcastle cake.
Those tall skinny vases would look great with some goldfish swimming in them, just sayin’.
The couple is whisked away and the guests are let in.
And the ceremony begins!
(Psst, ma, you can put your bouquet in your other hand.)
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| Those are tears, drink up!!! |
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| Light up floor during ceremony, I am a fan of this. |
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| “w00t!” |
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| “The Wobble,” in all its lit-up glory. |
The couple, who has HOPEFULLY just finished participating in a Money Dance, calls David up because they have a gift for him.
It’s a gift basket, filled with random items.
“Vanilla covered pretzels, because we call you Vanilla D.
And also, the color blue, for this Under the Sea wedding you’re making come true.”
(I hope there were more things in the basket, and her speech was edited for time.)
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| “Thank you for not giving me cufflinks.” |
Then, as usual, we quickly eat some cake as the show ends.
