Hey everyone! It has been a while since I have done one of my Tutera recaps, but I have good reasons. First of all, I moved. And I’m slowly unpacking and reorganizing my life one box at a time. Second, I’m sad to say this season of the revamped My Fair Wedding has been terribly uninspiring. And that’s a shame because this show used to be so, so good. The only reason I’m recapping this one is because the Faces are AHHHMAZING.
Another new development: I used to watch and grab screenshots via my iPad and the Time Warner Cable app. Now that I’ve moved, my new cable internet provider DOESN’T HAVE AN APP. What is this, 2011? So I have no way to grab images from the show anymore, unless I pay to buy the episode online. And, honestly, paying for something that I should be getting as part of my WAY EXPENSIVE cable plan seems totally nuts.
The bottom line is this: This will be my last Tutera recap, for now at least. Sniff sniff. I know that, like, two or three of you are legitimately bummed and honestly, you are the reason I kept doing them as long as I did. But now that I have homeowner-level responsibilities and the images aren’t free anymore, I just can’t justify continuing on.
So let’s try to go out with a bang, shall we?
I liked this episode because it was something different – a Bat Mitzvah instead of a wedding. The other reason I liked this episode was because of Aunt Dalia.
Here’s her storming off in anger right before the event. She’s amazing. We’ll come back to her.
And before we get started, here’s David’s driver Montré (not on duty) trying scotch for the first time.
Montré is my favorite part of this new season, for reals.
Okay, here we go.
This is Tiffany. An adorable young lady who is obsessed with all things England and One Direction. I heart Tiffany.
Tiffany gets it.
This is Tiffany’s house in Beverly Hills.
Do you kind of see where this episode is going?
When David arrives to meet Tiffany, he also meets her mom and grandmother and two aunts.
One of those aunts is Dalia.
When talking about Tiffany’s party – TIFFANY’S party – Dalia proclaims she wants to wear a pink dress, even though Tiffany wants to wear pink to her own Bat Mitzvah. When David politely explains that Dalia can’t wear pink since the guest of honor wants to wear pink, Dalia proclaims she won’t go to the event if she can’t get her way.
NO she didn’t.
Tiffany tells David it’s easier if Dalia just gets what she wants (she clearly has experience in this subject matter), but David ain’t havin’ it. He can’t believe the way Dalia is acting.
Moving on. David and the ladies go to try on dresses. Guess who throws a MAJOR TANTRUM. I’ll give you hint – it’s NOT the child.
The dresses are revealed and Dalia goes right to the pink. But wait … she also brought her own pink dress????
David’s all like, no way are you wearing that. So she puts on David’s pink dress while Tiffany tries on blue, even though Tiffany really wants to wear pink. But she’s okay with wearing blue and she really loves the dress on her.
But then David notices Tiffany isn’t wearing her glasses.
Tiffany explains her mom told her she looks better without her glasses.
David says that’s ridiculous and he loves her glasses and thinks they are part of her personality, and she should wear her glasses if she wants to.
Then he forces Dalia to put on a blue dress and she has a meltdown, so David has to UNLEASH and remind everyone that they are all there for Tiffany.
A few days later, David gets a call from Mom, saying they all want to meet with him. David and Montré show up at the agreed upon restaurant …
And wait …
And eat …
And wait until David finally gets a phone call from Aunt Rita.
Then Dalia gets on the line …
Montré is not buying it for a nickel.
Montré and David were stood up, so they finish their ginormous breakfast in peace and quiet.
It’s Bar Mitzvah day! David greets Tiffany with a hug and tells her she is going to have an amazing party and it’s all about her.
Dalia is her warm fuzzy self.
Immediately she starts causing trouble by telling David she’s not going to wear the dress he chose for her and going to wear a dress she bought instead. She also told David she doesn’t like the way he’s treating her on camera.
And David has to lay the smack down. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU DALIA.
Later, Dalia throws a tantrum for some reason and runs away, hiding herself in a room.
Meanwhile, everyone sits around and waits for Dalia to calm down and return.
David asks what happened, and especially wants to know WHERE IS THE PINK DRESS that she insisted on wearing, forcing the guest of honor to settle on a different color she didn’t really love.
I can’t remember what “it” was (I lost this episode recording with my old cable box) so let’s just assume it=everything.
“Holy sh**” is the actual phrase David said, not just me making funny comments, but if I were to make a funny comment about this picture, I would caption it “Holy sh**.”
Okay, now everyone close their eyes and hold hands while I lead you to the venue reveal.
(For the record, Mommy dearest decided to wear her own dress, not the one David picked out for her, which is why she looks lumpy and has panty lines. David would NEVER have let that happen.)
Oh yay, everyone loves it, even Dalia! I think her heart grew three sizes that day.
It’s totally perfect for a teenager’s party.
Then David gave her a tiara to wear and everything was perfect.
Oh and Tiffany DID make her grand entrance being carried by men with muscles. Proof you should always Dream Bigger.
What did you think of this episode? Isn’t Dalia the worst? At least she was portrayed like that on TV … but I have a feeling she’s that insufferable in real life, too.
In honor of our last recap, I’m loading you up on the Faces, to last you a while. There were a ton of wtf moments during this episode which resulted in a lot of fun Faces. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading!