I know I started this blog to feature realistic, simple, love-filled weddings, but lately I’ve been spending a lot of time on The Knot and Style Me Pretty, and I’ve come to realize that – yes, your wedding should be about the love you two share, but mostly it should be about how many details you can cram into your wedding space.
I know I’m usually all about focusing on your love and celebrating what makes you unique. But I’m beginning to think that the stuff you display at your wedding is way more important than that. And, the more things with mustaches or burlap on it, the better.
Look around at your wedding decor. Is there anything you can wrap some lace ribbon around? Then you should do it. Are your napkins embroidered with your guests name? Hurry up and find someone on Etsy who can do that for you. You’re just having a cake for dessert? You need pies, also! And an ice cream truck, and a candy buffet. Don’t forget about the chocolate fountains, and cupcakes in individual take-home containers as favors (with little mustaches stamped on them, of course.) Everyone knows you can’t have just one dessert at a wedding. And does your dessert table feature enough vintage trinkets on it? Hurry up and buy all those vintage milk and perfume bottles off eBay before another lucky bride gets them!
You’re not just setting out simple escort cards, are you? Because they should be tied to balloons, or your guests’ names should be written on individual wine bottles, or personalized license plates on the new Ferraris that you’re giving to all your guests. You want your wedding to stand out, right? Giving away new sports cars will surely make your wedding a memorable party.
If there are any empty corners of your reception ballroom, decorate them with mason jars filled with wildflowers that look like they were freshly picked, but really you spent thousands on a high end florist to help you achieve that simple, rustic look that’s so popular these days. But don’t kid yourself – trying to do this yourself is just silly! You’re the bride, duh! You don’t have time for these things. Just throw money at it.
Speaking of money, your parents are paying for your wedding, right? Hopefully they are, because all those details come at a price. But if you need money, don’t worry, that’s what credit cards and loans are for. Starting your married life off with a ton of debt may not sound ideal, but when you look back at your wedding photos you’ll remember why you can’t buy a home and you’re eating ramen every night and realize that lounge space with the rented velvet furniture and light up acrylic cocktail tables was totally worth it.
Also, make sure you have lots of weird props for your photos. Taking boring photos of just you and your partner is so last generation. Vintage Coke bottles, chalkboards, or animal skulls should do quite nicely.
Keep in mind that if your wedding doesn’t have a ton of over-the-top details, it will probably never be featured in Martha Stewart Weddings or on a popular wedding blog. And what’s the point of getting married otherwise?
Remember, your wedding should be all about you and your partner, and whatever theme is trendiest at the moment. You only get this one chance, so don’t blow it!
Keep checking the blog all this week – I’ll be featuring styled wedding shoots featuring frowning models wearing couture gowns you could never afford if you worked for a million years.
PS – April Fools!
{Image Credits: 1 – FrenchWeddingStyle; 2 – TrendyBride; 3 – MonkeySuitVintage; 4 – RusticWeddingChic}
