It’s time for another installment of
Today’s question is one I read about all the time. This is a tough issue even for non-Disney brides, but somehow by throwing Disney into the mix, it’s even trickier.
Dear DWI,
My fiance and I are considering having an adults-only wedding and reception. We are having an Escape wedding so our space (and budget) is limited. We also are concerned about children screaming throughout the ceremony or running around the reception. But, we feel really awkward about having an adults-only wedding at Walt Disney World! We know our friends and family would love a chance to take their children to Disney and this would be a good opportunity. Any advice?
Signed,
Puzzled in Pennsylvania
Dear Puzzled,
The decision to invite or not invite children to a wedding is a tough one. I think the main problem for most Disney couples is the budget and space limitations. I spoke with one Disney bride who was struggling with this issue because between her and her groom they had somewhere around 20 nieces and nephews. WHOA. That’s a lot of extra meals, not to mention extra tables and centerpieces, to pay for.
But it does seem cruel to deny those precious children access to The Happiest Place on Earth, doesn’t it? And if it’s a destination wedding, that means the parents are going to have to arrange for child care, IF they are even okay with leaving their children for a few nights (and some parents aren’t). This could also cause a major rift between the bride and groom and their family. Someone is bound to be offended because their wonderful children are being left out in the cold. How dare you!
A solution could be to arrange for child care at the location of your wedding. That way your family and friends can still bring their kids to Disney, but they don’t have to be at your actual wedding. If this is too big of an expense, run it by your friends and family members who would be affected by your decision not to invite kids. They might be willing to chip in for the wedding day babysitter if it means they don’t have to arrange for child care back home for the entire length of their trip.
Another possible solution is to have your adults-only wedding at Disney, and afterwards have a big party at home. It can be something super casual and budget-friendly, like a backyard party or a gathering at a public park. (Bonus – you have an excuse to wear your wedding gown again.)
One last idea is to take another look at your guest list and budget, and see if you can figure out a way to allow the kids. I actually was planning on having an adults-only wedding but changed my mind when my groom’s sister had a baby a few months after we became engaged. Still, I was super worried about our baby niece screaming or crying during the ceremony or all through the reception. But I worried for nothing – she was a perfect angel during our short 10 minute ceremony (and if she wasn’t, our brother-in-law was ready to make a quick escape). And during the reception, she shrieked a bit during my father-in-law’s toast and he made a joke about it, which made everyone laugh. This was a really special memory that we would have never had if we had not allowed kids at our wedding.
Ultimately, the decision is completely up to the couple getting married. If it’s something you feel that strongly about, stand your ground and don’t let anyone bully you into changing your mind.
Photography credit: Nu Visions in Photography
