Ask a Disney Bride – Guests Who Don’t Bring Gifts

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Hello!  We are nearing the end of the week which means it’s time for another installment of:

Ask a Disney Bride

This week’s question is a great one, and a potentially touchy subject so I’m happy I get to address it and perhaps help out some future couples who find themselves in this position.

Lego Card Box displayed on the gift table; personal photo

Dear DWI,

We got married at Disneyland recently and we had a few guests who attended our wedding but didn’t give us a gift.  We realize that the majority of our guests traveled a long way and therefore had some major expenses associated with attending our wedding, so we don’t mind that they didn’t give us a wedding gift.   But should we still send a thank you card?  I’m thinking that we should but I’m struggling with how to word it.

Signed, Wordless in Wyoming

Dear Wordless,

The issue of gifts is always a tricky one.  But the bottom line for newlyweds to remember is that gifts are not mandatory!  It’s true that *most* wedding guests do bring a gift, but this should never be expected, and couples should not be disappointed or angry if a guest does not bring a gift.  This applies double (or perhaps triple) if you are doing a destination wedding.  It seems like you have a pretty good attitude about the giftless guests so I applaud you for that.

Your instinct to send a card is correct.  Whether you host (aka pay for) the event or not, you are still the couple of the moment and all guests should be thanked for getting dressed up and taking time out of their schedules to attend.  YOU should be honored that THEY attended your wedding, not the other way around.

With that said, I understand that generally the Thank You cards revolve around the gift that was received.  Discussing the gift certainly makes it much easier, though, huh?  Here’s a sample wording I came up with; feel free to steal it:

“Dear Guest,

Thank you very much for sharing our wedding day/weekend with us.  We realize that traveling to Disneyland/WDW must have been a huge undertaking and we really appreciate the efforts you made.  It was so nice to share this magical day in our lives with our closest friends and relatives.  We hope to travel to ____ to see you soon {or} We hope we will get to see you at Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years and show off our wedding album and videos.

Best wishes,
Newly Married Couple”

(And both of you should sign the card!)

Now it’s your turn – has this situation happened to you?  What did you do?  Please chime in with advice for this couple.

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