My Fair Wedding: Unveiled Revealed!
aka: The Recap Episode That Makes You Say “Remember THAT Bride?!?!?”
OH BOY, it’s our second MFW recap of the week! I think this is the first recap behind-the-scenes type show that MFW has done in six seasons, and I LOVED IT. I want moooooar. I loved this episode so much because all the clips they showed were AUTHENTIC. Moments that we just don’t see anymore on this show. So I hereby propose we replace the rest of this season’s MFW episodes with recap episodes. WeTV, please make it happen!!
Okay, let’s get started!
But before we start, I must warn you that this post is rated TV14, due to all the vajayjay.
The best thing about this recap was playing the game, “Remember THAT???? Such as ….
Remember when that bridesmaid had a flower growing out of her head?
Remember when that bride had all those fake flowers?
Remember that one bride who REALLY liked Michael Jackson?
Remember the bride who wanted to wear her purple flower cowboy boots?
Remember Mini Trucks?
Remember the bride who really, really, really liked zebra print?
Remember when this Alice in Wonderland bride wanted “little people” to carry the train of her dress?
Remember the bride who wanted to exchange candy rings, because she really loved candy?
Remember the bride who wanted live goldfish in her centerpieces?
Now let’s go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back to 2008, when it all began. This is Jennifer, My Fair Wedding’s first victim. I mean, bride.
It seems this bride didn’t really like the million dollar wedding the show gave her. And David wasn’t super into her, either. Here he is listing all the things wrong with her:
He gave her strict orders not to smoke in her gown.
Then she tripped coming down the long staircase while wearing a ballgown that blocked her view of her own feet. Oh, the humanity!
Then she got caught smoking again! Because, you know, smokers smoke? It’s kind of what they do.
She apparently was very annoyed when she had to record a talking head in exchange for her free wedding.
Then these children had the audacity to not understand how overpriced a wedding bouquet is.
Then this couple had the nerve to do shots – SHOTS! – at their own wedding!
WHAT a disaster, right David? How dare this family celebrate the way they want to on their wedding day.
Truth is, I think both parties came across as a little whiny. Don’t expect the first episode of a TV show to go perfectly, and don’t think you’re going to get the wedding you want when you sign up to have someone else plan it for you. END. OF. STORY.
Remember the swamp bride?
David does.
Remember that purple bride with the purple dress?
Remember that bride with the dress that was barely a dress?
It’s okay Tuts, don’t have an aneurysm.
SERIOUSLY. The dress wasn’t that bad!
Remember Lala’s boobs?
Remember MANDY????
Don’t worry, she’s still fabulous.
Remember Mandy’s photo shoot?
Well apparently Mandy had snuck some vodka into her Gatorade bottle and got dah-RUNK!
And then she showed everyone the goods.
Thanks for the memories, MFW. But Mandy’s netheregions was NOT something I needed to see, then or now.
Remember these lollipop bouquets? I actually liked that idea.
Oh, hush.
Remember when David met this couple? And according to David, their house smelled like a million cats had peed everywhere.
Stay classy, David.
The producer has to be the bearer of bad news:
Remember Ed Hardy shirts?
Remember the Mummer wedding?
“What the f*** is a Mummer?”
David referred to it as “the gayest thing ever.” And David KNOWS gay.
Remember the Goth Bride? Who hated everything?
Remember when David told her he wanted to cover her tattoos for the ceremony and she gave him the death stare?
Her wedding party tried to talk some sense into her.
But she ended up crying in the bathroom, so, it totally was a big deal. So David caught wind of his bride’s tantrum and backed off on the tattoos.
But it was too late. Her day was ruined.
Sad bride with her free wedding, boohoo.
Then she copped MAJOR attitude pre-ceremony. We could tell she was mad, but they did some amazing editing to make her look remotely pleased with anything David had done.
Disgusted David face.
“I could tell he wasn’t into it.” Haha, really? David Tutera didn’t like your skull and spiders wedding concept? How surprising.
And with that, we come to an end of the best episode of MFW this season.
BYE!
Did you enjoy this episode as much as I did? There was just too much to capture properly. But hands down, this episode has the BEST array of Faces of David that I’ve ever compiled. Enjoy!
