My Fair Wedding: Unveiled Revealed!
aka: The Brides That Weren’t Good Enough For the First Revealed Episode
Woohoo! It’s another “Revealed” episode of My Fair Wedding! If you missed my recap of the first Revealed episode, you can catch up here (although there’s really nothing to catch up on. You’ll follow along with this post just fine if you don’t read the first one).
They say the sequel is never better than the original, and sadly that is also true for Revealed episodes of My Fair Wedding. While I will take this format over the “Unveiled” format any day, this Revealed episode didn’t made me nearly as giddy as the first one. First of all, there were no brides flashing their hoo-haws (okay, you’ll need to read the first Revealed recap to understand that one), and also, David didn’t seem as catty and self-absorbed on this episode. And that’s half the fun.
But Drunk David did make an appearance:
And then this happened (unrelated):
But (“Butt?”) I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning.
This is David Tutera. He is a celebrity wedding planner:
Okay, we don’t need to go back that far.
For this revealed episode, David basically sits around and tells “behind the scenes” stories about past MFW weddings, and talks smack about his brides.
Like Shelby.
She wanted a zebra wedding, with zebra print bridesmaids gowns.
But David wasn’t feeling it, so he changed the gowns. And our poor bride had a little meltdown.
Our bride is dubbed a control freak. David thinks she should have been the last person in the world to sign up for his show.
So the Revealed producers ask her a question:
Our bride thinks the show was edited to make her look that way. And you know what? I believe her.
Sad, zebra-less bride. 🙁
And then there was Sheena.
Sheena wanted a “Gaga Beyonce” wedding, so David dubbed her the Diva bride and gave her a professional photo shoot.
Then, on wedding day, what we DIDN’T SEE was Sheena getting all Divalicious on the staff of the show.
{Producer leaves in frustration}
Then she turned into the Grinch? IDK.
Let’s. Talk. About. Sno. E.
And her many faces.
During her episode, I could tell there was something a little “off” about Sno E, beyond the ridiculous name. (You can read my recap of her episode here.) Well now we hear David’s theory, which is that Sno E didn’t care about the wedding at all, she was just trying to get on TV.
He comes to this conclusion through the following facts.
FACT #1 – Sno E didn’t really have a wedding gown. She threw on an old pageant gown for funsies.
FACT #2 – She had no venue. She pretended like her fugly backyard was going to be her venue. As if.
Still, David gave her the wedding she “wanted” and Sno E acted all happy and stuff.
But what you DIDN’T SEE was the couple having a total meltdown over chicken.
I guess they didn’t get the chicken that she picked out during their food tasting and is now threatening to leave their $500,000 wedding. Over chicken.
{LIGAF}
David and the producers huddle with the couple to try to calm everyone down.
When David tells you to look him in the face, YOU LOOK HIM IN THE FACE.
SNNNNNNNNNNNNAP!
TUTERA OUT.
The bride and groom leave their own wedding early. They accomplished their goal of getting Sno E. on TV and getting a free wedding.
Moving on to bride Diamond.
Diamond never got a real proposal from her man, Latte, so David arranged for a romantic proposal on the beach. The only problem was, Latte didn’t want to do it. He felt it should be a private moment with no cameras. So David told Latte just to hold onto the ring and hide behind the lifeguard tower. And then David told Diamond that SHE should propose to him. So David tricked both of them into doing something neither of them really wanted to do on camera. AWESOME.
But then Diamond remembered she now has a free 3 carat ring so she was okay with being tricked.
Remember Aurora, the Purple Disneyland Bride?
Her sister really liked shaking her butt.
What we DIDN’T SEE was the heel on Aurora’s shoe breaking and her walking on tippie toe because I guess acquiring a different pair of shoes to wear would be too easy. Also, broken shoe, Cinderella. Yeah.
Then David told her she was getting married at Disneyland and she got REALLY excited. DUH.
And she got to have her reception in Fantasyland and ride in Cinderella’s carriage, and I’m not jealous at all, no sir.
At least she really appreciated it (these are happy tears).
No hate here, just a shout out to my twitter pal Danica (@chicrunner) who looks totes stunning in her new bridal gown. Danica did a guest post for me all about her experience on MFW which you can read right here.
Aaaaand finally, we have Nicki, the cowboy bride.
She rocked her awesome cowboy boots and fake tattoos, but what you DIDN’T SEE was David ripping his jeans while horseback riding.
“Next time don’t wear such tight jeans,” says our bride. “He was trying accentuate his assets a little too much.”
“I’ll drink to that!”
How does it make you feel to see all your bridal craziness lined up like this, Tuts?
Me too, David. Me too.
Did you watch? Yay or nay on this Revealed episode? I guess we go back to the lame-o Unveiled episodes this weekend. (Boo hiss.) But for now, here are some Faces of David to cheer you up.
