“My Fair Wedding” Recap – Shabby Chic Bride

Hello!  And welcome to our second My Fair Wedding Recap.  The first one was a success, so we’re going at it again.  If you enjoy the recaps, please leave a comment and let me know!

This week’s couple is Candice Marie and Ken, who are a very pretty, pretty couple.  AND BONUS:

She’s a “Polates” instructor, because apparently that’s a thing.  How do you feel about your future wife being a pole danc– er, fitness instructor?

David shows up and if you’re playing the MFW drinking game, please down your first shot now.

David meets Ken, who takes him out to the garage to show him the chandelier he has worked so hard on.  It’s actually pretty impressive and creative and kudos to any groom who tackles some DIY for a wedding.

Although, I suspect the producers just wanted to get David out to the garage to see The Pole (which Ken referred to as a “Fitness Pole.”

I was really hoping David would go for a swing but we can’t all get what we want.

So back inside with Candice she shows David her table of “shabby chic” items, which is basically some white and pink knick-knacks.  Perhaps I am easily impressed but I liked all her stuff.  It was kind of tough to tell what David thought, except he didn’t think it all went together.

This is also the point where we learn the bride’s “thing” (every Tutera bride has a “thing”), and Candice’s thing is that her mom was murdered when Candice was four, which is FLIPPIN HORRIBLE and almost makes me feel bad about doing a light-hearted recap about her episode (almost).  But it also kind of explains the “Fitness Pole” thing a little bit.  OMG I’m going to hell.

David comes to the conclusion that Candice is creating a comfy, homey shabby chic wedding to recreate the comforts of home and family, or some junk.  So that is what he is going to create for Candice, and he decided to rename her theme “Candice chic,” and you have to admit that having a theme named after you is pretty flippin’ cool.

Then David sees the bridesmaids dresses and has a minor fit when one of the bridesmaids is wearing white.

Then Candice’s bridesmaid/sister starts talking about how amazing Candice is and we have to take shot #2:

Candice comes out in her dress which is a HOT. MESS. And then we learn she ordered it online and David had a second hissy fit.

Next they visited the venue which is a mansion that belongs to a “friend of the family.”  UH, NICE FRIENDS.

After the commercial break, the first order of business is to change the bridal gown.  Praise Jebus.  This is also where we meet Candice’s “mom,” who is also her aunt who took over raising Candice when her mom died, and it gets aaaaall kinds of emotional up in Panache.

Shot #3:

Take an extra shot when your momaunt cries:

OKAY THE DRESSES.

#1

Everyone likes this one, and the bride thinks she is all kinds of schexxy, and everyone has a good laugh.

#2

Candice thinks this one is cute but isn’t a fan of the flower strap monstrosity.

#3

Candice likes it, so does momaunt, but sis likes #1.

ON TO BRIDESMAIDS.

Sis tries on three dresses.

#1.

OMG this is my favorite, and everyone on the show likes it, too.

#2.

Sis likes this one.

#3.

Candice thinks this one is awesome, but Sis thinks the color looks “old” but otherwise thinks it’s “cool.”  They all like #3 the best but David thinks it might be too “over the top” which makes me say, HELLO, HAVE YOU MET YOU???

After the break we find out David has taken the bride and groom to Big Bear to go …. zip lining.

The bride looks really excited, and then David says “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?” and then all of a sudden she’s scared and keeps saying she’s “afraid of heights, just a tiiiiiny bit, I really am.”

Good job, producers.  Haven’t you seen this bride climb her “Fitness Pole?”

David also keeps talking about this being an exercise in trust, and the bride and groom trusting each other, which is weird because they went on the zipline separately?  Regardless of the fake plot points, I give this bride kudos because ziplining looks scary as hell and I would never do it.

Oh haaaay, how YOU doin’?

Afterwards the couple gets massages and champagne, oh, and a honeymoon to some kind of resort that was oddly kind of a throw away.  And the couple hardly seemed excited about it.  Maybe they were still on their massage downer?

This is my I-just-got-a-free-honeymoon happy face, okay?

It’s the day of the wedding and David has kept the venue at the bride’s friend’s mansion, because, duh.  Then David reveals the dress and the bride rejoices.

But David has another surprise – lots of bling.

David takes a look at the “Candice chic” decor, which is a bunch of random, vintage looking crap thrown together.

Back to Candice, who is getting her makeup done, and crying for reasons that are not fully explained.  Shot #4.

All the bridesmaids come out in dress #3, and let’s all take a moment to appreciate this hairdo:

Candice comes out in dress #1, already crying, so take your fifth shot.

Can I just take a moment to say I’m not loving her hair and the makeup makes her look 10 years older.  She’s only 23!!!!!  Okay thanks, I feel better.

David gives Candice a custom brooch bouquet which includes a framed photo of Candice’s birth mom, which leads us to Shot #6.

Ceremony time.  If you’re doing the drinking game, whenever a groom cries you drink the whole bottle.

After the ceremony, David shows his couple the reception site.

The guests come into the reception space and are greeted by synchronized swimmers in the pool, lol.  I adore their reactions.

The couple brings up David and tells him to close his eyes because she has a surprise, and you can tell David is a bit uncomfortable.

So David closes his eyes and he is presented with ….

…. a painting that appears to have no relevance to him!

The bride says the painting is titled “Girl’s Best Friend,” and now it all makes sense (kind of, not really.)

NEXT EPISODE LOOKS AWESOME, it’s Snow White themed & I predict an extra long recap for that one.

And now what you have all been waiting for: Faces of David